on society

trying hard to stop the squirming that comes from watching my oldest child struggle to find where he "fits in"...it's like watching his unique, amazing light flicker in strong wind...and i just want to scream for him to not let that flame go out! i want him to remain true to himself...to not give in to conforming.

*sigh*
i am at a bit of a loss as to how to best support him, except in simply loving his guts and telling him he is perfect the way he is...even if he can't throw a football half way down the field like so-and-so can. i'd so much rather have my Boo than a tom brady. any day. <3

facing our demons...the real life kind.

my kids love karate...
in our little maine town however, there isn't much in the way of good martial arts schools. two and a half years ago the boys began taking karate at a school that was 40 minutes north of us, twice a week...and the grand tally for classes was just under $200 per month. ouch.
to us, in this economy, that's a big expense. plus the gas and the time spent antsy in the car right after school...
there is a place in our town that has reasonably priced, supposedly really good karate classess for kids aged 7 and up. in the past we haven't been able to take them because my middle son wasn't 7 until this past june...but now he is...and the cost would only be about 35 a month...total...and they are only about a mile and a half away.
the one major issue is that back then, when my oldest son was 5 and 6 we had a crisis involving this very disturbed child who was 10 at the time...he targeted my oldest son and bullied him, cruelly. (it's a long, long story that i get vehemently angry when telling involving a way too idealistic, parent run school and an abused kid without supervision...just glad i trusted my gut on the issue is all i have to say). we have avoided this twisted child and his dark family for years.
but now as we find ourselves yearning for martial arts again, with funds, gas and other things in mind, that in-town class seems really appealing. and i have a hunch this bully is still in the class...one more year.
i have been mulling it over and over. my kids have grown tremendously in the past few years. they have developed into responsible people who call it like they see it...they stand for no injustice done to anyone, or anything...and i have to trust that they can handle themselves in a karate class with this...this...other child. that they will not let each other take abuse. of course, i will be there to oversee things, but being in the same room with this older kid is a big deal for us...
point...i think we are ready as a little collective to take on our past demons. to face him. and do it with our heads held high.

i can't deny it gives me a twinge in my belly, though.