beautiful delicious forever poppies.

i happily got my poppy tattoo yesterday...over the old one as planned, but with a twist...chris thought it'd be cool to let the old one peek out just a little and i love the idea of it...it's like the old me sparked the growth of the new me...at the base of the poppies is this little tiny seedling that started it all. there is still an hour of color work left to be done to it...so know that when you look at the photos...but even as is, it is beautiful.

chris was a dream to get tattooed by. i was completely comfortable the whole time and he was gentle, if that can be said about a tattooer. it hurt, but was much different than past experiences.

his style is amazing...unique and he is incredibly intuitive about colors.

it was a great experience.

so, my act of self assertion, of being the boss of my life, my body, my spirit...my visual reminder that i am the hub of a family and to stay true to that self and my kids is set in ink. it was a highly symbolic act for me...and i am so happy about finally doing it. thank you, chris dingwell!!!!

ohhhhhh...shizzle and a purl stitch.

i have been in a real funk lately...feeling some hard times...hard lessons to learn. i suppose it's par for the course...we all have to grow and growth doesn't come without pain.

the good part about this experience is that i have looked inward a lot throughout the whole undermining mess, trying to figure out where the bad feelings, the insecurities, are coming from. and i have realized that i truly love myself...and my life. that i need to stop looking for love and acceptance and kindness from others...no matter who they are. i have come to really understand that to be happy, i need to find and hold dear the goodness i have within...the sweetness that comes from caring for myself and my family, appreciating the beauty in my life, from giving my all to meaningful work. i don't need to look outside of me. it's all right here. and it's protective like an armor. it doesn't matter what hurtful things people do or say with a strong heart. <3

luckily, when i look inward there is a bright light shining. i am happy. i am warm. i have enough love and light within myself to get me through any hard time. plus, i have the best friends anyone could ever wish for. no matter what fate has in store for me, i have the strength to handle it.

i do admit though...a new $210 avocado green, scoop neck, chunkily knit, knee length sweater dress that i found on the clearance rack for a mere 5 bucks at tj maxx didn't hurt either. it's beautiful. the knit is almost backward looking...like it was purled instead. i love it. it's clever and so well made. with leg warmers and knee high socks on, well...i am ruling my little kingdom quite happily. i just may borrow one of the kids' crowns from the dress-up box tonight.

note to self: ~must not forget that i am queen bee.

i want some of your brown sugar...

it's dreary...cold and sleeting... here in maine today. and i just discovered that brown sugar has made this day totally bearable! in the form of a home facial!

1/2 cup brown sugar
enough extra virgin olive oil to saturate the sugar
a few drop of lemon juice
a drop or two of lavender essential oil

mix all together and put on clean face...rub slowly and gently in circular motion all over face and neck...then rinse off well with warm water for an amazingly invigorating feeling and a fabulous healthy glowing complexion. it is great on hands, too! probably would do wonder for your feeties, but i won't be taking these chunky socks off anytime soon to find out. brrrrrr...