*exhale*

there we go...a full week back to public school completed, with lighthearted smiles, giggles and pure happiness through the entire transition. i am so proud of my boys. so proud of myself for recognizing what needed to happen in our family! it has been a really joyful thing for each child and me!

baby has had so much of me, that even daddy notices he is more adjusted. he's a happy little peach to begin with, but he's really settled feeling now. this decision has affected his life the most i think...alone time with mommy is a cherished and very coveted thing. this makes me smile that i can provide him with such nurturing.

so now, as i have more time on my hands i have had my home tidier, and am tackling things i have needed to do, but haven't had the energy or time to accomplish with all the kids at home. big things like working on my personal list of positive changes in my life, artwork that has been dying to escape my imagination and creating a budget for our home and setting up our household finances on Quicken.

the biggest of these tasks for me personally is that i am redefining my role in my household. i am to be the happy hub of this home. "happy" being the operative word. everyone comes home expecting nourishment. i need to be able to give that to all of these fellas and i can't do that if i am not nourished as well. i have been having some revelations recently about what would make me really happy in my life...and these are the changes i am manifesting in my life. sometimes change can be a little painful, and i can't deny it...the transitions i am personally going are painful. but because i am committed to myself and my family i am making the best of it.

i can honestly say that a lot of the transitions being spurred into motion by me are a result of me realizing that though i love myself more than i ever have in this lifetime, i have unfulfilled needs and aspirations. this leaves me with a bit of a hole...and leaves me feeling vulnerable. i have had so much anxiety and worry and even jealousy floating in my body in the past few months...such toxic feelings. thus...i am purging them with positive and pursuing something that has yet to be defined specifically, but is being birthed as i make all the good, healthy positive change i can.

<3