money.

sucks. i hate money.

but of course, i need money. just like everyone else.

i have begun to suspect that it was kind of ridiculous of me to have invested so much money into an education in art, expecting to get a financial return on it. student loans...investments in expensive computers, printers, a printing press of my own, inks, jewelry supplies, framing...good quality paper and clay and everything in between. it adds up so quickly. and here i am with a family...and debt. and i sense i am also left with a husband that doesn't see the value in that debt...there is part of him that clearly sees me as living in a dreamworld, and thus i am taking it upon myself to pay it off with money i earn using my artistry and all the other skills i've acquired along this journey of life.

the first step in this is to have weekly art auction from my facebook art page...you can click here to check it out. this way i will reduce my overzealously created inventory, reduce my debt a little bit and hopefully give me an excuse to use some of those supplies i've collected to make more things for the auctions!

i am also expecting to be putting together the cookbook i've done a little work on already for kate cheney chappell, and that will be income that i can hopefully dedicate solely to my amassed art education debt...

and now since the boys have returned to school and i am left with just the baby, i have been considering going back to doing a green cleaning job once a week, too...i actually love doing it. for the right person, who is someone that appreciates the holistic, stress-relieving quality in the work. i use essential oils and leave a persons home a sparkling haven that i know brings a sense of well-being to my customers. i had a green cleaning business that i gave up when i was pregnant with the baby...it was hard to stomach the cleaning, and to physically do it after a while, too. but now, well, now i'd take on one project a week in a second...especially if baby could come. my motor is ticking...

and lastly, i have been thinking of going back to work at night for one night a week. Street & Co...i do so miss it. the adult company, the great food, the inspiration of being around such talented cooks and frankly, just great people. plus it's easy and good money for a night of being a grown-up.

i think, if i did all of these things, or most of them, i should be able to have my debt significantly reduced within a year. and without the debt...won't i be able to create art feeling a little less guilt about the money i dump into it, especially if it's money over and above what it is our family needs??

sigh.

some of the best advice i ever got was to not give up my art to be a mother and a wife. anyone can go through the motions it takes to care for a family, to keep a house...but no one is going to influence my children and husband the way i can with my creative spirit allowed to shine...it is a gift only i can give them even if it means i need to work more to pay for it. i have to find a way to keep it in my world.