a touch of independence...

i opened my own checking account. and i've earned a little bit of money to stick in it. and though this is a small fete (i don't even have as much money as my children do in my account yet) i feel quite liberated. i can't explain the disempowerment i feel as the stay-at-home parent, though i love taking care of my brood more than anything...

my man and i have successfully put a budget into the works...successful in that we didn't kill each other in the process. and so far our household has held to the budget. things are tight...and we have a lot of saving hopes and very responsible goals incorporated into it. art, however has been left out of the budget. and the debt that i have accrued in the hopes of staying a "working artist" so that i can go to a good grad school for art therapy eventually (accumulating supplies and gear and equipment with which to create art and get my BA) has been pretty much scowled upon.

so i am determined...DETERMINED...to earn my own money that will pay for art supplies both past and present. i need to creatively find ways to work and earn money while still maintaining my home (we can no longer afford the help i had with the house that i had while the children were homeschooling...though i must say it helped me organize the world here enough so keeping it tidy is far more manageable) and still taking care of my family the way i like to.

the first thing i am going to do, to start, is have a weekly art auction like i have been for the past couple of weeks. this is helping me to alleviate my stockpile of work, use up my supplies and get my creative urges out. it brings in a little money, too...not what i'd get in a gallery, but also i really do love the thrill of the auction thing. so it's all good.

secondly, i have begun more work on the cookbook that i am working from home designing and trying to get publishing (or self publishing it if all else fails) for Kate Cheney Chappell. i've been in touch with an amazing publishing company and am hoping that i can inspire her to get me more stuff to work on and get a handful of hours in designing the book from home every week. that job is so exciting to me, too...i can hardly wait for it to take off more! she's in such demand though!

also, i have begun to think about green cleaning again. i know it may sound weird and even yucky to some people, but i actually like making a person's home feel clean, smell wonderful and taking stress off of people. i used to do it and had planned to start a healthy business for moms. i wanted to be able to provide green work for people during "mother's hours" and my business plan even incorporated getting them health insurance. but when i became pregnant with baby D...it just got to be too much. i really developed a fondness for several of the people i worked for though...and i was thinking that if i went back to cleaning for them that i would do it at a reduced rate if i could bring my baby. there is no way that i will put him into daycare and my family is just not really available for such a regular babysitting schedule. so i would knock 10 bucks an hour off the cost of cleaning if he could come. there are also a few people that i have yet to clean for that i can imagine this scenerio working with. it could be a way for someone who wouldn't otherwise be able to afford a good green cleaning to get one!!! it may or may not work...

and lastly, if i can't make enough to significantly reduce my debt with the above work...i am thinking of going back to Street & Co for one night of work a week. great money. great people. amazing food...i love it there and i often miss it. the reason it is last on the list howwever is because i would be impeding on J's life. he'd need to take care of the children and support my working because it is at night and i am honestly not sure he is capable of that.

so...i have a plan. i have a checking account. i have a little nest egg growing...i am hoping to pay all of my own credit and student loan debts every month...this month already i may be able to do that if i can get on the ball! and then once it is all paid off (i could do it in about 10 months if i bust a move on) i want to save up for several things not in our "budget"...yoga teacher training...a metalsmithing jewelry class at heartwood college of art...a really nice camera, like a canon Rebel...and the tattoo i have been dreaming of getting that represents my family and motherhood...

i am filled with a surprising amount of patience. and i know i can do it all by myself.

peace out.